Actual Headlines

  1. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
  2. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
  3. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
  4. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
  5. Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents
  6. Farmer Bill Dies in House
  7. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
  8. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
  9. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
  10. British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  11. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
  12. Eye Drops Off Shelf
  13. Teacher Strikes Idle Kids
  14. Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  15. Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  16. Shot Off Woman's Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66
  17. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
  18. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  19. Miners Refuse to Work After Death
  20. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  21. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
  22. Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  23. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  24. Killer Sentenced to Die For Second Time in 10 Years
  25. Never Withhold Herpes Infection From Loved One
  26. Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in '84
  27. War Dims Hope for Peace
  28. If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
  29. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  30. Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  31. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  32. Deer Kill 17,000
  33. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  34. Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  35. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  36. Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  37. Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  38. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
  39. Arson Suspect is held in Massachusetts Fire
  40. British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  41. Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood
  42. Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees
  43. Local High-School Dropouts Cut in Half
  44. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
  45. Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing
  46. Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing
  47. Air Head Fired
  48. Steals Clock, Faces Time
  49. Prosecutor Releases Probe Into Under Sheriff
  50. Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
  51. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
  52. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
  53. Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction
  54. Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training
  55. Include your Children When Baking Cookies

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