Life ain't so bad; I've still got a whole two days to study for my
calc exam and finish writing the programs from this quarter - o boi!
Back to our sheep. I don't want this to be a totally pointless yak
about my life, so maybe I can think of an interesting topic to tackle...
hmmm... nope. So maybe I'll enlighten you a bit more about the world
of me. Actually, wait!...
(disclaimer: boys, don't get mad at me; i don't mean it. i just felt like letting
my brain off the leash to meander for a while.)
I think dogs being loyal is a crock. Dogs give "loyalty" to get food
the way men give "love" to get sex. The only difference being that dogs
think with their stomachs and men think with their dicks. (sorry to
anyone who's getting offended at this point. so stop reading, ya pile
of horse dung.) Everyone has these shiny-eyed stories they read in the
paper or saw on teevee about when some brave pup pulled a kid out of
an icy lake or woke the family and got them out of the burning house...
But the truth of the matter is, Lassie ain't stupid. She watches teevee
too. She knows if she's a "good" dog, she gets mucho doggie treats.
If the family burns to crispy critters, not only does the number of
doggie treats drop to nil, but she's out of a home, too. Double d'oh!
Dogs will submit to cruel and unusual human tortures in order to get
food - they'll let little kids pull their ears and tails and ride on
their backs; they catch gnarly round hunks of plastic in their mouths
and bring them back to their "masters" just so the dumb fuck can toss
the thing again and repeat the procedure; they put their chins on your
knee and gaze up at you longingly and drooooool...
Of course, men do the same thing, the goal being sex instead of food.
To impress women, nothing is too much. She likes kids? He'll play
with the goddamn kids just to show what a patient and caring bastard
he is. He'll repeat the same tricks over and over... for a while (hey,
even dogs get tired of frisbee.) They'll even rest their chins on the
knee of the female in question and droooool...
The real question is, who has it better? The dog who constantly begs
for food but has unlimited sex, or the man who has plenty of food and
begs for sex?
You tell me.
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randomness #2 - beware, this is totally unrelated to this one.
next thought: religion thought #1
Written 01/20/98